Candid Convos: The First Year of Marriage

Candid Convos: The First Year of Marriage

Have you ever heard people say that the first year of marriage is the toughest? I’m sure you have. I thought that today I would talk about our experience having been married for almost a year!

You’ll bicker. I think bickering in a relationship is completely normal, but it may be emphasized once you’re living together. Gary and I didn’t live together before we were married, so there were changes that went along with that such as sharing a bathroom, sharing a kitchen, a living area, everything! I definitely had a higher standard of cleanliness than he did, so I always got frustrated when he left stuff sitting out, but I quickly learned to be more lenient and get over it!

You’ll have disagreements about money. We’ve all heard it – the number one thing married couples fight about is money. I think money is something couples fight about purely because everyone is raised to think about money in a certain way and we all are raised differently. If one spouse’s parents blew money on whatever they want while the other’s parents pinched pennies, the differences in mentality would likely play out through a few disagreements. It’s just how it goes. When you get married (I recommend before), sit down and talk about your expectations. Do you want personal money to spend every month? Do you want to go on a big vacation once a year? Do you want extravagant gifts for your birthday? Talk about everything. Lay it all out on the table and get on the same page. Gary and I have been using Mint, which has really helped us get on the same page when it comes to our finances. I highly recommend it (married or not)!

You’ll be stressed about how to spend your holidays. I think one of the hardest things for us was figuring out how to do holidays. Instead of being super joyful and ready for spending time with family, I was extremely stressed about it. I have a very close family who has wonderful traditions and I have to say, it was very difficult to give some of them up to spend time with his family. It’s hard, but it’s part of two families becoming one.

You’ll have so much fun. What’s better than having your best friend and the person you love with you all the time? You’ll have sleepovers every night, cook together, work together! The difficulties of marriage will only make you stronger as a couple.

You’ll grow closer each day. Before we were even married, Gary and I spent a lot of time together. We shared friends and had classes together at college, but once we were married, we became even closer. I think the shared responsibility of making decisions for our future, sharing money, and living together brought us that much more close.

If you’re married, how was your first year of marriage? If you’re not married yet, what do you hope for your first year of marriage?