Candid Convos: How Our Relationship Changed After Marriage

Candid Convos: How Our Relationship Changed After Marriage

photo via Cathrine Taylor

Welcome back to the blog today, everyone! I wanted to introduce a new series here on the blog called “Candid Convos.” Yes, I know, the name is cheesy, but it’s the only one I could think of! All of my more personal posts will live under this new series. I’ve written a few in the past that have fit into this category, so you can read them here or just search “candid convos” in the search bar. My hopes for this series is that I can open up a little more and share my experiences, thoughts, and journeys as the years go on. I have a few subjects in the back of my mind to write about, but if you have any suggestions or questions, please message me (I don’t bite, I promise!)!

As most of you know, Gary and I were together for six years before we were married. Though you’d think not much would be different, our relationship did change after we were married.

We didn’t live together before we were married, so there were a few changes on that end. First, we never have to say goodbye anymore. This is one of the best aspects of being married. No matter what we do during the day, we always come together at night. Second, I like my place to be clean and Gary is rather messy, so we immediately had to compromise and figure out how we wanted our living space to be. I’ve taken control of all the household duties except Gary’s specific jobs (here’s a little more info about what we do). Third, we had to adjust to each other’s living habits. I had no idea that on the weekends, Gary wakes up consistently between 8 and 8:30 a.m., ready for coffee and breakfast right away. I, on the other hand, usually wake up around 9 to 9:30 a.m. and like to take some time before drinking my coffee or starting on breakfast. Nowadays, Gary wakes me up right around 9:00 a.m. and we drink our coffee and/or eat breakfast at our own pace (this depends on the day, of course).

Since living together, we now have to make more of an effort to spend quality time together. In college, we’d see each other throughout the day – we’d always walk to class, eat lunch, and work on homework/study together. It seems like we’d go on mini-dates multiple times per week, whether it was grabbing a bite for dinner or hanging out over the weekend. Now that we’re married, we spend more time together overall, but we’re apart for a big ten-hour chunk every weekday. Though this time apart is tough, we’ve developed new routines (talking on the phone as G drives home from work, texting during lunch) to maintain our connection throughout the day. We also set aside certain nights of the week to play board games, watch a movie, or play video games together while going on a formal date nearly every weekend.

Once we were joined in marriage, we had to combine our lives. Though we both welcomed joining two worlds, it takes good communication. Our bank accounts were combined, our families were combined, our belongings were combined. When we were faced with two worlds colliding into one, we had to improve our communication. When you live with someone, you can’t part ways for a time and then figure it out later. You must face all disagreements head on.

I hope you guys enjoyed this! I’d like to know – if you’re married/engaged what’s one thing that’s changed in your relationship?

Gary and I want to do a Q&A video! If you have any questions for us, please leave them down below or message me on Instagram, Twitter, or email!